recipe entry #1: chocolate chunk walnut clusterfucks

sweet, vegan, fun for the whole fam

Growing up in the San Fernando Valley (like omg) my family ate at restaurants or got take out nearly every night of the week. I chalk this up to my parents’ extremely busy schedules, plus their New York nostalgia. And now that I live in NYC, it’s very easy to do the same (especially with a Vegetarian Palate that delivers so promptly).

However, these factors have not only put a large dent in my little wallet, but have also made me a relatively incompetent cook. Lately I’ve been making strides to remedy this. These cookies are the sad victims of my learning process.

This cookie recipe was taken (and subsequently mutilated) from the Vegan Family Cookbook.

Ingredients:
1.5 cups flour
1.5 teaspoons egg replacer powder
.5 teaspoon of baking soda
.5 teaspoon salt
.666.. cup brown sugar (or white if that’s all you got)
.5 cup margarine
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Way too many chocolate chunks
Way too many chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

1. Mix the flour + egg replacer + baking soda + salt in one bowl.
2. Mix the sugar + margarine + water + vanilla in another bowl.
3. Mix the bowl contents together.
4. Do not be alarmed that the dough is not really sticking together – just add tablespoons of water until it becomes one big creamy clump.
5. Now add way too many chocolate chunks.
6. And way too many chopped walnuts.
7. Spoon large clumps onto a nonstick cookie sheet. The VFC recipe makes 24, but this makes only a lucky 13, because the clumps are so damn big!
8. Bake for about 15 minutes or until they become nicely tanned. Do not be alarmed that the clusterfucks do not spread like normal cookies. This is to be expected.

And: Do not be alarmed that the clusterfucks look kind of gross – they taste awesome!